Living is Christ, and Dying is Gain
(NRSV) Phil 1:12 I want you to know, beloved, that what has happened to me has actually helped to spread the gospel, 13 so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to everyone else that my imprisonment is for Christ; 14 and most of the brothers and sisters, having been made confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, dare to speak the word with greater boldness and without fear.
15 Some proclaim Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from goodwill. 16 These proclaim Christ out of love, knowing that I have been put here for the defense of the gospel; 17 the others proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but intending to increase my suffering in my imprisonment. 18 What does it matter? Just this, that Christ is proclaimed in every way, whether out of false motives or true; and in that I rejoice.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance.
20 It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be put to shame in any way, but that by my speaking with all boldness, Christ will be exalted now as always in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain.
Would that we each had the heart of Paul! Several things leap out at me from this Scripture, all serving to convict me of sin in my own life. When I entered the clergy, I admit to being naïve. Knowing the call by God upon my own life, I believed all preachers had the same call. But Paul makes it clear that the motive of some who declared the gospel did so with impure hearts. Yet, he praised God anyway that the gospel message was being spread. I was not that gracious.
One young man, while slouched in his chair during a conference meeting of around thirty-five pastors, told us if we would just listen to the Holy Spirit “it” was doing a new thing. In front of everyone, I said “Sweetheart, I’ve been listening to the Holy Spirit longer than you have been alive and He will never do anything that contradicts the Bible.”
I was immediately contrite. I found the young man after the meeting and asked his forgiveness, not for what I said but the manner in which I spoke and for embarrassing him in front of our fellow pastors. He was much more gracious to me than I had been to him for which I am thankful.
My primary point is that Paul was able to have joy despite his shackles, despite the abuse he suffered, and despite his belief that others preaching Christ crucified and resurrected were not truly called. Yet too often I fear our joy is dependent upon our circumstances. Oh, I pray this is not the case.
Who am I to judge others, questioning their call? And why am I so quick to choose complaining over joy?
May we pray that God will give us the same mind that was in Paul, that to live is Christ and to die is gain. And may our joy increase and our concern over another’s behavior decrease as we carry the gospel message until He returns. And if there is anyone to whom I have failed to ask forgiveness for any hurt I have caused, I pray God will bring me to a place where I can humble myself under the mighty but forgiving hand of God and make restitution for my behavior.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
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