As I was getting ready to prepare my devotional, I ran across this paper I wrote for one of my Theology classes. (I don’t recall which one). I read it and thought this excerpt might help someone who could be struggling with their faith. It was titled “A Reflection Paper on Exodus 3 and 4)
The Calling of God
Where were you when JFK was killed? It was a common question even twenty years ago because it was a defining moment in our lives. There have been many such moments since then, but an even more burning question is “Where were you when God’s call was placed upon your life?”
Moses: I have a question, Lord. If my brother had been tending sheep and he had diverted to see the burning bush, would you have sent him instead of me?
God: Oh, Moses, I could have set a bush on fire anywhere upon that mountain. You were my chosen and when I have made a choice there is no plan B.
Moses: But God, my fears were so much greater than my capability, how could you be sure that I could fulfill your calling?
God: I am who I am, remember? It was I who set the stars in the sky, who put this very earth into motion. I knew you would say yes, and I knew you would accomplish that for which you had been sent.
Moses: You have more faith that you should have.
God: No, Moses, it is you who has the faith. I do not need faith because I know all things before they even take place. But you are called to believe in things you cannot see. That is real faith.
Moses: There were times that what you called me to do were above what I could accomplish, and there were other times when I was really afraid. How can someone with that much fear have faith?
God: Fear does not mean you do not have faith, it only means you know your limitations. It took faith to stand before Pharaoh time after time announcing yet another plague. When your faith is large enough to help you overcome your fear you have succeeded in doing my will.
Moses: One last question—why didn’t you heal my speech so that I did not need Aaron as a spokesperson?
God: I did not need your voice, Moses, I only needed your willingness. I did not need Aaron’s willingness, I only needed his voice.
Few people can compare their calling to the one Moses received, and I am no exception. Sometimes I think I was actually called as a child, for I remember praying that God would call me to be a preacher. Life intervened and now, after many detours, @I have answered God’s call and I would imagine at this stage I face the same questions as Moses.
I find myself thinking about being called out of the laity and into the clergy, and just as everyone before me I feel somewhat undone. Am I ready for the challenges? Will I be able to serve, or on some level will I expect to be served? (God forbid) As I offer the sacraments of bread and wine, will I be able to hold myself together or will the observance and remembrance become so powerful that I will lose myself in the emotion of remembering what Christ did for me?
As I join with a new body of believers, this time in the role of pastor, I am steadfast in my faith and in my belief that God will provide all I need according to His riches in glory. And, I know that whatever he asks me to do, I will be able to accomplish through Him and because of Him. How do I know these things? Because God has given me a gift of faith, and my faith is stronger than my fears.
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